Muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

Like Father, Like Daughter |

muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

To appreciate a father on just one day should not satisfy the soul of any child. The sister does not have a good relationship with her father; she feels he hates her and When a relationship between a parent and child gets so far off track, . encourages but ensures you and your father will continue having problems long . There is a very special bond between a father and a daughter and the most beautiful example of this is the relationship Prophet Muhammad sal.

You have made it 18 years with your father, please be patient with him.

muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

At this age, you probably spend much of your time at school, or at work, and spend a minimum amount of time around him anyway.

Lower your wing of humility to him, and Allah swt will bless you for that. Will you make it an excuse not to be successful? In the West, many single parents go to school, work 40 hours a week and have their children to take care of. Maybe you can reduce the number of classes you take. This will cut down on the tension between you and your father and allow you to go to school. A compromise for family peace is worth it. Sometimes, we get into such a routine of being angry and mad at people that we stop communicating with them or looking for solutions to actually improve the situation.

He does this every day for years and conditions himself to act in a way that encourages the other person to be that way.

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Even if a part of him wants a better relationship, he is the one who has made a routine out of it, because he has it in his mind that his wife has the problem and is a pain, and he is good and the victim.

It takes two to have a conflict. If you are in a daily routine that not only encourages but ensures you and your father will continue having problems long term, then stop.

Listen Now

Forgive your father for his imperfections, and maybe he will forgive you for yours. Take the time to forgive him. When you can look at him for what he is — a normal, everyday person who is just trying to make it and not a hindrance to your happiness — you will see new options in the relationship.

It starts with how you think when you wake up in the morning. And look how I say that. As if I do know God. As if I understand God. So the psalmist nailed it right? Saying it this way? Before this embattled earth was formed, he knew Alana and I would be rumbling over these three defiant words spouted from her beautiful confident mouth: It sank straight to the floor.

But not from the announcement. It sank from the struggle that had brought us to this moment. First, those teen years—with their relentless arguments and fussing and door slamming and confusion and yelling.

Then the testing years—when, at twenty, Alana joined the Nation of Islam. And I fought that. Arguing against the theology of the Nation. Thundering against the messages that sounded to me like too much hate. She was twenty-something and a junior in college. So I gripped the phone and asked about school. How her car was running. How her car was running?

Yes, I asked her exactly that. Then we said a few other neutral things. Have a good afternoon. Talk to you later.

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Then I hung up the phone. Not on that day. My life had changed. My Christian daughter became a Muslim. And my life and every single thing about life just flat-out flew apart. So here I sit today, ten years after my daughter made her announcement, staring at my keyboard in my belabored home office — which also is a wreck and needs decluttering and an overhaul. Still, even in this mess, I commit to speak truth about the biggest mountain in my life that has yet to move.

They are shortsighted and deliberate.

muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

Unless they get startled. Then, experts say, they go on a rampage. And my home and hearth are messy enough already. I long for logic and order and peace. And I long to talk.

To finally look together at the reality of our life — and not end up arguing and slamming doors and yelling and walking away, especially without answers. Surely now — with almost ten years stuck in rubble — we finally can talk.

My Christian daughter is a Muslim.

muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

So how do we unclutter that? Every little piece of it. All the hard parts.

muslim father and daughter relationship struggles

The curious twists and turns of struggling to live across faiths. Should we even try? Getting along but living divided has run its course.

But how will Alana answer? Will she go with me on this journey? See where this path to truth and harmony takes us? Or is she terrified, like me, to try? Finally, I am ready to hear her answer. Alana Why am I a Muslim? And neither is my life. I know that, although we smile and go along with our daily lives as if nothing is wrong, she will probably never be at peace with my decision.

Still, I wonder if I will be able to talk to her about such an emotional issue. My mother and I are really good at talking about easy stuff. We laugh politely and then get off the phone. But we never talk about faith.

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I talk about faith all the time to Muslim friends. I occasionally get questioned by parents and students at the elementary school where I teach fourth grade. The shy and reserved looks on their faces make it seem as if they are uncomfortable talking about my faith.