Understanding The Emotional Needs Of Men | Control Yourself!
Jun 2, Meet Jean Accius, part of the BE Modern Man cohort. bring focus to how people age across a spectrum of time, experiences, and needs. When you think of a family caregiver, you tend to think of a woman taking care of Men typically don't want to talk about the emotional, financial, and physical. Jun 11, You may feel that your spouse is not meeting your emotional needs. But, marriage counselors and psychology experts generally agree that. Jun 24, BE Modern Man: Meet 'The Trailblazer' Mr. Stephen A. Hart perfect storm of emotional, financial, marital, and spiritual sufferings. Thankfully, my new wife chose not to back out of her month-old commitment to me. help them gain the know-how, confidence, and motivation they need to blaze their trails.
My advice is that you attempt to show him, without nagging or becoming angry, how you are different from him and what your unique needs are. Work to change that which can be improved in your relationship, explain that which can be understood, resolve that which can be settled, and negotiate that which is open to compromise.
Create the best marriage possible from the raw materials brought by two imperfect human beings with two distinctly unique personalities. But for all the rough edges that can never be smoothed and the faults that can never be eradicated, try to develop the best possible outlook and determine to accept reality exactly as it is.
The first principle of mental health is to accept that which cannot be changed.
- Can a Husband Meet His Wife's Emotional Needs?
- 5 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF A MAN
You could easily descend into depression over the circumstances in your life. But you can also choose to hang tough and be contented in spite of them. The operative word is choose. Can you accept your husband just as he is?
Seldom does one human being satisfy every longing and hope in the breast of another. Obviously, this coin has two sides: You can't be his perfect woman, either. Both partners have to settle for human foibles and faults and irritability and fatigue and occasional nighttime "headaches. If she looks to him as the provider of all adult conversation and the satisfier of every emotional need, their marriage can quickly run aground. He has no clue about how to deal with her "soul hunger" or how to make her happy.
When she begins to realize that he will never be what she wants of him, discontent begins to brew in the relationship. I have seen thousands of marriages flounder right at that point. What can be done, then?
Equal Partnership in Marriage
A woman with a normal range of emotional needs cannot simply ignore them. Something deep within her screams for fulfillment. One answer is for women in this situation to supplement what their husbands can give by cultivating meaningful female relationships. Having lady friends with whom they can talk heart-to-heart, study the Scriptures, laugh and cry, and raise their children can be vital to mental health. They feel better about themselves, are less angry or depressed, feel their relationship is more fair, and are more happy with their marriage.
Ideas for Creating an Equal Partnership All couples can do more to work toward creating an equal partnership. The following suggestions center on housekeeping, child care, and decision making. Share more routine household tasks. There are two different kinds of housework, "occasional" and "routine.
Routine housework, on the other hand, like cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and washing dishes, is more time consuming and must be done regularly and repeatedly. Most people, male or female, find these routine jobs dull and tedious. In general, women do more than their share of routine housework. When men are willing to pick up more of these routine tasks rather than relegating most of them to women, they help create a more equal partnership. Work as a team.
Wives who are dissatisfied with the division of labor in the home often say they feel lonely and lack companionship. When wives and husbands work together as a team, without hierarchy or a "me helping you do your work" attitude, marital happiness increases. Attack the front room together with one person dusting while the other vacuums.
Wash the car together and throw in a sudsy water fight. Set aside time once a month to do a special job as a family, such as planting a garden, cleaning out the garage, or washing windows.
For example, some husbands insist that only they know how to mow and trim the lawn properly, closing the gate on wives or children who might enjoy that chore. For women, gatekeeping can be especially complex because management of the home is so central to their identity. She bases her identity largely on how she thinks others view her housekeeping and mothering, so if her husband tries to contribute she might feel a threat to her self-respect and identity.
A woman with these beliefs who then shares the housekeeping role equally with her husband may feel she is neglecting her family role and may experience guilt, regret and ambivalence. She might not voice her feelings but instead will close the gate in subtle ways, such as holding to rigid housekeeping standards. He then gives up, giving her back her exclusive domain. To reduce gatekeeping, meet together as a couple include children where appropriatemake a detailed list of all the household chores, and decide on an arrangement for sharing housework that works for everyone.
Make assignments, demonstrate and train as necessary, and set up a time to review how things are going. Have reasonable standards and give every family member the freedom to live up to those standards in his or her own way. Talk about how you divide up housework. Take the time to talk about how chores are divided up and how each feels about the equality of the division.
Express appreciation, listen sympathetically, and make decisions together. These actions will build a sense of fairness in your marriage, which in turn will make your marriage stronger and happier. Typically wives are much more personally invested in care of home and family.
They also are more affected if the arrangement is not equal. Research suggests men are relatively unaffected by the division of household labor. A husband committed to an equal partnership will look for signals of increased stress in his wife that could be a result of her taking on more than her share of home and family management. Everyone needs to feel appreciated for the things they do. Family scholars note that when couples argue about domestic work, it is seldom over who does what.
Equal Partnership in Marriage
Most spouses disagree about who does what and how much. Typically wives think they do more than their husbands say they do, and husbands think they do more than their wives give them credit for. To help ease these differences, express appreciation for what your spouse does do.
Avoid making important decisions independently. Marriages are happier for both husbands and wives when each has an equal say in important decisions, such as where the family lives, how to rear the children, and how money is spent. Share child care responsibilities. Children benefit when both fathers and mothers are actively involved in their lives.
Research shows that mothers and fathers have independent effects on their children, so when only one parent is actively involved the child misses out. Fathers more than mothers tend to play rough-and-tumble with their children. Children need both of their parents—let them have you. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61, Research on household labor: Modeling and measuring the social embeddedness of routine family work.
Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62, Equal partnership and the sacred responsibilities of mothers and fathers. Salt Lake City, UT: What does it mean? Journal of Family Issues, 19 3 Its relationship to the well-being of husbands and wives. Equal Partnership is Necessary for Exaltation The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches that man is not complete without woman or woman without man.
Neither can fill the measure of his or her creation without the other see 1 Corinthians United in Purpose Adam and Eve are our first example of righteous marriage and parenthood.