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The fact that I actually wanted to exercise, and was out of breath and red in the face, did nothing to dissuade one optimist from chatting me up every time I saw him. Loitering, he confessed with a smirk, "I used to be bad, but I've reformed.?.?.? In a bizarre two-pronged attack, he mixed anecdotes about his favourite sexual position with promises to take me to his grandmother's house to try her famous home-made ravioli.
Eventually, he realised that this was getting nowhere and turned to my disapproval of his smoking habit. Oddly enough, I declined the offer.
If the gym in Italy is a common place for conquests, the sofa is another. One evening Matteo asked a friend over to supper. As Matteo had errands to do first, I invited his friend to wait with me at home, where we sat down to watch television - at least that's what I thought we were going to do. But he was soon attempting to kiss me repeatedly on the neck. When I lost patience, he looked wounded, insisting that it had been a perfectly normal move.
This, I discovered later, is known affectionately as "the sofa rule", and has more to do with saving face than romance. His sulking turned into a tantrum over supper, when I was rash enough to chat to other male guests.
He stormed out and later sent a text message: If I thought this was melodramatic, the best was still to come.
The height of Italian jealousy was revealed in all its glory when a friend introduced me to one of his colleagues.
- Charm of Italian men is lust in translation
- Italian Singles in London
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