The Pros and Cons of Swinging in a Marriage | Futurescopes
My wife and I tried swinging several years ago. It is like she is a different person while having sex. For clarification purposes, swinging is unlike the open marriages of the 70s or the more recent version of “polyamory” that. I have seen the fantasy of threesomes or swinging backfire on “normal” couples time How will this impact your relationship and your family?. And because the effects of sexual climax involve many other brain It will tell you that you need something outside of your marriage There is a secret to avoiding unprotected or secret sex with your swinging partners.
They say that the communication, openness and sharing of their natural desires for sexual variety allows them to explore their fantasies together without deceit or guilt. While this intense sexual openness can instill higher levels of trust and openness within your relationship it can also inadvertently create emotional vulnerabilities that neither of you may be aware of.
Swinging, as you have seen, can be a double-edged sword. Still largely viewed as deviant social behavior, it is perceived as a threat by the majority of couples and institutions. Most swinging couples feel that they need to guard their lifestyle choices closely so that ironically, while they have greater openness between them, they also struggle with secrecy and vulnerability within their families and communities.
The North American Swing Club Association claims that the population of participants is much higher at 15 percent and reports that there are organized swing clubs in almost all states and in many international communities. It is not uncommon for couples to pull out of the swinging lifestyle and have to rebuild their own intimate life.
That said, many couples stay with this practice for many years and report high levels of marital satisfaction, although with the small sample sizes and limited research on the topic, it is difficult to draw any firm conclusions. I was recently contacted by a couple who just launched the site lifeontheswingset. Many proponents of the swinging lifestyle say that it is a healthier way to deal with the sexual boredom that many couples struggle with and that the honesty and communication required actually make marriages stronger.
Some of the most challenging aspects of this or any sexual practice that includes multiple partners are the human tendencies toward jealousy, the associated guilt and the compromised trust that are inherent in these complex relationships.
After a few sexual encounters with others, the husband and wife are likelier to enjoy love-making more than before and experience more passion in marital sex life. One of the main causes of infidelity is bedroom boredom.
Ask The Loveologist: The Effects Of Swinging | Care2 Healthy Living
When mutually two people have been in a monogamous relationship for a long time, their love-making routine also becomes extremely predictable so much so that you and your spouse almost go through the whole thing on auto-mode. It is only a matter of time before you or your spouse begin to look elsewhere to feel alive again and this hankering inevitably leads to an affair. Swinging on the other hand offers a brief release to sexual boredom and ends up enlivening things for the married couple.
It does not carry the stress of having an affair or the fear of being found out. Since in swinging, both partners are on the same page, there are no ugly scenes or accusations about cheating. Curiously enough, such occasional jaunts with an outsider may in fact keep the marital couple together by helping them to rediscover and appreciate the delights of their primary partner.
A Swinging Relationship Can Be Healthy For You, if You "Follow the Rules"
Then again some long married couples find swinging to be a natural evolution in their marriage. Once they have known their mates for a long time and are sure of their marital relationship, they find the transition to a swinging lifestyle both natural and welcome.
Finally swinging offers one the opportunity to experience other sides of sexuality — experimenting with bisexuality, for example, draws many couples to the lifestyle. Likewise swinging allows people to live out sexual fantasies in a guilt-free environment. People can explore their sexuality without being labeled or judged.
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Swinging thus helps couples to explore the realm of bisexuality and fantasies without being thought of as unfaithful. How swinging can harm your relationship The most obvious danger of swinging in a marriage is jealousy. The very notion of marriage — in mainstream culture at least - depends on a mutually faithful and monogamous relationship. Swinging drives a knife through this basic premise of a marriage and thus leaves the relationship open to all sorts of jealousies and complexities.
Even though you and your spouse may have joined a swinging club to experiment sexually, at the end of a party one of you may be jealous and angry at the other for having a good time. Again a secret fear that a third person is a better lover to your spouse than you are may crop up during fights which are about entirely something else.
Even when you and your spouse are careful not to bicker about these sexual encounters or you may have agreed upon few rules from the start, newer complications may raise their ugly head since partners may change the ground rules of their relationships over time. Thus while the spouses may have agreed to conduct extra-marital sexual encounters outside the marital home, eventually one of the spouses may invite a partner in the house.
This implies that the real danger of swinging is not the prospect of cheating — you may have already agreed on that in principle since you are open to swinging — but that it could lead to marital infidelity.