Relationship between codependency and narcissism

relationship between codependency and narcissism

Much of self-help literature portrays codependency and narcissism as They may only care about others' feelings in relation to themselves. When I first stumbled upon the word codependent during my The differences between a narcissist and a co-dependent are significant. Intent. Editor's Note: If you've been reading my work for long, you know that I've written pretty often about narcissism in relationships. While I initially.

Are you leery of asking for help from your partner?

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

In a healthy relationship, partners freely and regularly ask for a hand. When you do ask for help, how does your partner react?

relationship between codependency and narcissism

Hopefully, your partner is open and willing to help you out whenever you ask. You wait and wait for your partner to recognize your needs but they rarely do. Do you have hobbies and activities to enjoy separate from your partner? Do you try to control things to make yourself feel better? Therefore, you take steps to control situations however you can. Would you describe your partner as needy, emotionally distant, or unreliable?

Do you have a perfectionistic streak and try to get things exactly right? It is easy to see how codependents and narcissists get hooked up. It is like two pieces of the puzzle coming together. One is the easy mark for the other. But there is a deeper connection.

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists

It is found that there are familial links to this interaction. If you have one parent who is narcissistic you are likely to become either codependent or narcissistic yourself.

relationship between codependency and narcissism

If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true. Once a person begins to recover from codependency, they are able to begin setting boundaries and standing up to the narcissist. It is very difficult for all humans to conceive of someone who is totally bereft of the ability to empathize and learn from previous mistakes. The primary mistake the codependent makes is to give the benefit of the doubt to the narcissistic partner because it is so hard to fathom someone could be so selfish and unyielding.

Additionally, lack of boundaries makes them thin-skinned, highly reactive, and defensive, and causes them to take everything personally.

Most codependents share these patterns of blame, reactivity, defensiveness, and taking things personally. The behavior and degree or direction of feelings might vary, but the underlying process is similar. For example, many codependents react with self-criticism, self-blame, or withdrawal, while others react with aggression and criticism or blame of someone else.

Yet, both behaviors are reactions to shame and demonstrate dysfunctional boundaries. They generally lack assertiveness skills. Their communication often consists of criticism, demands, labeling, and other forms of verbal abuse.

Why Codependents and Narcissists Can't Break Up - Terri Cole - Real Love Revolution 2016

On the other hand, some narcissists intellectualize, obfuscate, and are indirect. Like other codependents, they find it difficult to identify and clearly state their feelings. Although they may express opinions and take positions more easily than other codependents, they frequently have trouble listening and are dogmatic and inflexible.

relationship between codependency and narcissism

These are signs of dysfunctional communication that evidence insecurity and lack of respect for the other person. Control Like other codependents, narcissists seek control.

The Relationship between Narcissism and Codependency

Control over our environment helps us to feel safe. The greater our anxiety and insecurity, the greater is our need for control. Intimacy Finally, the combination of all these patterns makes intimacy challenging for narcissists and codependents, alike.

If you have a relationship with a narcissist, check out my book, Dealing with a Narcissist: Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally.