Let me speak about the reason why my relationship failed. I had been with my ex for close to 4 years and it's been 2 years since I last spoke to her. There is just. Create relationships that THRIVE by recognizing these love-squishing Am I saying you shouldn't be physically attracted the person who sits before you?. From my years as a therapist and knowledge of the research, I would identify four damaging patterns that raise red flags about the state of any relationship or.
Most times when people get involved in infidelity in a relationship, it is as a result of problems like lack of loyalty that has existed for long. It is easy for your partner to find comfort in the arms of another man or woman when you fail to play your own part in mutual loyalty in your relationship. No relationship survives for long without the right level of healthy communication between the two people involved. For your relationship to maintain its stability for a long time, you have to hone your communication skills if you are not good at it.
The best way to address any issue in your relationship is to come out open on any issue and talk it over with your partner. Engaging in heated arguments has never produced the right results when it comes to resolving issues. There are no specific laws for men or women to adhere to when it comes to adequate communication.
The right approach is to find time and talk things over with your spouse before it develops into an irreconcilable difference. When you lack time to pay attention to issues that threaten your relationship, you only create room for a breakup. Without making adequate efforts to create quality time for your relationship to work, the communication between you and your partner cannot be strong.
It takes two mature people to make a relationship work. It is important you know when your partner wants to be alone and respect his or her wishes. Give your partner some space and distance whenever he or she indicates a need to be alone.
Trying to dominate every aspect of your partner's life is not going to make your relationship work. If it does anything, stalking your partners every move will make him or her feel uneasy and caged in. Don't try to run your partner's life for him or her. Leave room for the development of self-confidence and independence.
Giving your partner space and distance is something you should watch to make sure you don't overdo it. Don't be too close all the time and don't be too far either. Pay attention to details to know when the distance is getting wider so you can talk things over and close the gap. It is important you learn to trust your partner. Even when you have any reasons to be suspicious, it is still advisable to talk things over. Factors such as lying to your partner can build distrust.
Be open and sincere at all times to leave no room for unnecessary suspicions and jealousy. One mistake people make in their relationships which often lead to the collapse of the relationship is cheating on their partners because they believe he or she had been cheating on them.
If you suspect anything, don't act without getting your facts right. The two people involved in the relationship must be ready to compromise at some point to make things work.
Holding on to past wrongs will never help build a strong relationship between you and your spouse.
23 Reasons Why Relationships Fail
If you don't the relationship will most likely fail. Incompatible Values Goals, careers, finances, kids, family and lifestyle can all pull couples in different directions. These can be the issues that put you on divergent paths. You can talk about what you want in life now, but these can all change in a few years.
A much better measure of long term compatibility is whether or not you have shared values. As long as you have some values that are well embedded and well thought out these are less likely to change over the years. If you share the same values you can navigate the issues that might otherwise break you apart.
But if you have quite different values it will be much harder to make compromises on difficult issues. Just from observations in my own life, couples who have been together a long time share compatible values, while those couples whose relationship fails do not. Not one individual with two bodies. Unfortunately many people seem to take the latter approach as they lose all sense of identity and independence when they enter a relationship.
These people become so dependent on the relationship that they lose themselves. They will live like this for many years and they may even think their relationship is fulfilling. But it is like a ticking time bomb.
One day something will happen and the whole thing will just fall apart in an enormous explosion. At the other extreme some people can try and remain too independent. They are scared to commit and want all the benefits of a relationship without any of the hard work and sacrifice.
This relationship won't last either. You have to find the right balance. Unwillingness To Be Vulnerable Vulnerability is one of the keys to intimacy. You have to be willing to open yourself up in order to actually get close to someone. Yet many people remain too guarded and refuse to let anyone else in. Often it is unconscious but this puts a massive handbrake on a relationship. Eventually it leads to frustration and the person who can't get the other to open up will leave.
Complacency A relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. It's how well you turn up day after day with a smile on your face and a humble attitude.
You have to put the hard yards in little by little over a long period of time. When things are good and the foundation is solid it becomes very easy to slowly reduce the effort. Little by little other things in life take priority and the relationship suffers. It doesn't matter necessarily from one day to the next, but slowly over time complacency and neglect will destroy the foundations and the relationship will crumble.
The only way to avoid this is to remain vigilant and to make the effort on a regular basis. Problems Of Habit Image source. Lack Of Balance Sometimes a relationship can come to favor one person slightly more. One person is asked to make all the sacrifices and all the compromises. The power is off balance and one person's priorities take precedence. Nobody minds that for a little while.
Things are never perfectly even all the time. But relationships should be give and take. If one person is all take and the balance is never redressed, eventually resentment will build and things will turn south. Fault Finding We all have flaws. There is no way around that.
The perfect partner is not a person without flaws, but a person with whom the flaws can be managed. You need to be forgiving of each other in a relationship but that requires patience.
When life gets stressful it's easy to forget to be patient and forgiving and to become demanding. At that stage the flaws can amplify and people can start to find fault with each other.
This can be a destructive cycle if it is not arrested and overcome. Lack Of Quality Time When life gets busy it's easy to put the needs of the relationship aside for what seem like more urgent and pressing concerns.
23 Reasons Why Relationships Fail
That may not do too much damage in the short term. But if this habit sustains itself then it can do a lot of damage in the medium term. Don't let urgent and unimportant things get in the way of those things that are really important, but perhaps less urgent. Your relationship is one of those things. It doesn't really matter if you miss date night once.
But if you miss it regularly and you don't make time for each other, your relationship will suffer. Lack Of Space The opposite is also a problem if you are in each other's pocket all the time and don't have enough time alone to do your own thing. You each need to maintain a degree of freedom and independence and time to pursue your own interests.
Find the healthy balance between quality time and an appropriate amount of space. You might still be having sex reasonably often, after all you both have needs.
4 Reasons Why Most Relationships Fail | Her Campus
But non sexual touch is something that is often overlooked. Are you kissing, holding hands and cuddling? If not then you need to make the effort here.
If the physicality quietly dies you might see the relationship quietly die as well. Inability To Let Go Fights and conflicts will happen. The important thing is that nobody holds a grudge and all is forgiven. You have to be able to let go.
Actually let go, not just push the hurt and frustration beneath the surface. If one partner can't let it go and just sweeps their feelings under the rug, there will come a time where all the anger and hurt will burst out. If this happens too often then the relationship isn't functioning properly and might be heading in the wrong direction.
Surface Problems Image source. Boredom Maybe the relationship is just no longer stimulating for one or both partners. That might be a compatibility issue where you are better off apart. Or perhaps it is because several of the deeper underlying issues were not addressed and you both slowly drifted apart. Loss Of Sexual Spark Every relationship is going to lose a bit of sexual spark. At first it was easy and it just came naturally. But then you have to start working to keep the flame alive and keep things interesting.